No matter how intensely I try to be good, pure and holy, it never lasts. I have some days that God and I are really tight; as I walk and talk constantly with Him throughout my day. He is at my side assisting me in every thing I attempt to do and I sence His sweet loving Spirit with me. We are like cheek to cheek in our connection and my spirit man and attitude is godly throughout my day.
During my prayer time I picture myself resting my head on His chest and breathing deeply in unison with Him.
However, I ain't no saint!
I have been praying for God to increase my faith and help me to trust Him more intensly every day. However, when sudden “mini" trials and afflictions happen in my life, I tend to freak out first and find faith later.
I have to talk myself off my proverbial ledge, recite “Jesus, I trust In you” over and over, till I actually believe and feel it and then finally realize, GOD'S GOT THIS! He will never leave me and He is always with me no matter what.
He doesn’t want me to be a, 'freak out freak; just a Jesus freak'. I really think He is showing me my weaknesses more and more, so that I can gain strength in Him for future struggles. Our world is messed up now more than it has ever been but not as crazy as it soon may come to be. I pray after each of my traumatic set backs, that I will handle the next one with more grace, dignity and trust in God - less freaking/ more faith.
God is revealing Himself to me, by being tenderly present even in my difficulties. He wants me to keep my mind on Him so that I can have perfect peace even through the darkness.
God tells us and expects us to be perfect and be holy as He is holy, but we are imperfect humans. James 4:17 basically says, If we know we should do good and do not do it, we are sinning.
I don’t steal, commit murder, or intentionally hurt others or directly violate any of the other commandments, however my heart, mind, spirit and soul are not always good or holy. Ungodly thoughts pass through my mind sometimes at church, when I'm praying or just randomly out of the blue. I sometimes cop an attitude with people who irritate me and than feel terrible after. I don’t want to think ugly thoughts or meditate on things that are not good, pure or holy and yet, the enemy sneaks them into the crevices of my mind and heart. I strive for perfection in my daily walk but I know, only God is perfect. There is a battle within my mind and spirit to maitain a holy house for the Lord to reside in.
I am the temple of the Holy Spirt but I ain’t no saint!
Lord increase my faith and make me more like you. I thank You for loving me and using me with all my imperfections. Help me to face every day, as David faced the giant. He didn't fight Goliath in his own strength but came against him in the name of the Lord who rules over all. I claim the mind and attitude of Christ. I will praise You, oh God, in the storm.
I will hold onto my faith and let go of 'freaking out.'
https://youtu.be/MgpaULjZOl8
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