My mom was and still is a beautiful woman inside and out. She is active, attractive and admired by everyone that knows her. Mom is 98 years young and is gracefully and contently living with dementia. She has a sense of humor and laughs often, sometimes loudly in her sleep at night and sometimes after she has colored a picture she thinks is really cute. The mother I had as a child and into adulthood no longer exists. She lives in her own world and seems to be unaware of things that affect me or others. I’m thankful she still remembers me and functions pretty well with minimal assistance.
Communicating with mom can only be about things in the present mostly one sided as I ask her questions and wait for her response. She can't remember what she did or ate during her day, and doesn’t remember anyone in our family or even the bus driver who just drove her home from the day care, so our conversations are limited.
Mom sleeps a lot, colors a lot and watches a little TV, between naps. Believe it or not, wrestling is one show that captures her attention. She rarely falls asleep when wrestling is on. As a child, she did acrobatics and entertained everyone at the orphanage. When the wrestlers fly through the air and do all their stunts, it reminds her of her childhood. She stays alert and intrigued by their moves and comments on their actions. She always says the same thing, "I used to be able to do moves like that when I was a child.”
Mom attends Pace day care 3 days a week from 8 to 330 pm and comes home energized. She has a snack and usually colors for a couple of hours before dinner. My mom is an easy elderly person to care for now in this later stage of her disease. I just basically help her with the activities of daily living that are a little too challenging for her and manage her other needs. I am blessed to be able to help her and be there for her as she was for me when I was a child.
Even though my mother doesn’t express or demonstrate love or affection, she always says,”thank you” for everything I do for her.
I have started kissing my mom’s cheek at bedtime when I tuck her in and I realize how frail she is, which brings a tear to my eyes. Even though she doesn’t expresss her love to me, my heart needs to demonstrate my love to her, even if she doesn't remember it.
My mom made me who I am and for that I am forever thankful.
Honor your father and mother, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:23
Seven tips:
Remember your loved one as they were and all they did before their disease.
Give them the respect they need and deserve.
Find activities they might enjoy and join them in that activity- find a good day care, if they are able to attend one.
Patiently support them through the various stages of their disease.
Encourage and allow them to speak of things they remember and communicate with them even if they can’t respond.
Care for them as you would want to be cared for.
Love them unconditionally.
We are all here because of mom. We all love her in our own way. One woman who gave life to six kids and gave all she had for us. It’s our turn to give back to her.
This message really touched my heart because I can relate to your heart, it's the love you have for your mother, it reminds me that love I had for my mother, grandmother, great grandmother and all the wonderful women "she that has touched my life. I 🙏 love you for sharing your feelings and love for your mother. You are given her flowers while she is still in this world.